Wild Eyed Joker
by wild eyed angel
Summary: How did Kyle get so bad? The story of his downward spiral, and the prequel to 'It's Cartman's Fault'.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Wild Eyed Joker

Disclaimer: Not mine, I don't own any of it

Rating: M

Pairing: Stan/Kyle

Summary: How did Kyle get so bad? The story of his downward spiral, and the prequel to 'It's Cartman's Fault'.

A/N: This first chapter is short, and i'm sorry for that. I don't have as much time for it as I would like, and I don't know when I will be able to update but I will try my hardest for it to be soon! XD This is dedicated to digiluva, HeartlessMaiden, and love.me.or.leave.me for inspiring me and writing such great reviews to the sister story. Thanks guys!! XD

A/N 2: This deals with a relationship between two men - if you don't like, don't read.

"Mom, I don't care what you want, this is about me for once in my life and I want Stan there! He's my best friend and he's going to be there whether you like it or not!" Kyle's eyes narrowed as he spoke to his mom, his tone making clear that that was how things were going to be.

She floundered, anger and disappointment welling in her. The only times her son ever seemed to be remotely...well...normal now was when Stan was involved. It was as if her Kyle wasn't her baby boy any more and that was something Sheila found very hard to live with.

" Kyle! This is a family matter!" Kyle interrupted her

"Yes it is and Stan is my family, so fucking live with it!!" He screamed, throwing himself into Stan's arms and hiding his head in his shoulder, going off into one of his monologues that were becoming more and more common and were one of the reasons for Kyle's psychological evaluation. Stan had been the one who had come up with the idea, and gotten Kyle the appointment two weeks before - that day held the appointment with the doctor to discover the results. Sheila had been against it to begin with, she didn't want a 'mental son', but when she realised how bad it would look if she didn't support Kyle, she had become the pushy mom once more. She didn't want Stan going with them to the appointment though, that had been made more than clear.

"Doesn't understand...get's in the way...never...need" That was all Stan caught of Kyle's nonsensical rambling due to the muffling of his shoulder. He sighed slightly and ran one of his hands through Kyle's longish black hair. He'd put the hat away long ago, as had Stan, at the age of 10- they'd been too old for them.

Sheila's face darkened further, that was something else she hated, the affection between the two. Stan had figured out months before that she disliked it, but he knew that often it was the only way to get through to Kyle. He wasn't about to leave Kyle alone just because his mom didn't like it.

Two hours later Kyle, Stan and Sheila were sat in the Doctor's office, waiting for him to return with Kyle's results. The tension between the three hadn't abated, and Kyle's mom continued to glare at Stan. Rather than glaring back and starting another argument, he just tried to ignore her and focus on the boy sat next to him who was rocking forwards and backwards on his chair, muttering under his breath as he held onto Stan's hand tightly, as if it was his only lifeline. That had given Sheila more ammunition to dislike Stan -when they had entered the office, she'd wanted Kyle to come over and sit on her lap, like he was some kind of baby. That was when Stan had spoken up; he wasn't going to have his best mate treated like an infant when he was 16. He was mentally ill, not an idiot. In a lucid moment, Kyle had smiled gratefully at him, before sitting down next to him, where the lucidity slowly melted away.

When the doctor walked in, his sombre face said pretty much everything. He sat down in his chair, before taking off his glasses and looking up at the three other occupants of the room.

"Kyle's tests have shown conclusively that he does indeed have schizophrenia. The psychologist has done an evaluation and concurs with me on this." Involuntarily Stan's eyes closed just for a moment. He was no fool and had done reading, and he'd been expecting this if he was honest with himself, but to be faced with the reality was very different. He glanced sideways to see how the news had affected Kyle. A small smile graced his lips when he saw that Kyle had simply shrugged and then his attention had been diverted to Stan's hand. He seemed to be analysing it- stroking it as if it were something of utmost value to him.

After a moment, Stan risked a look at Sheila, and her expression was almost enough to make him wince. Her eyes looked wild and desperate, and she clutched at the chair arms.

"No!" she spoke eventually "My son cannot be a freaking nutcase!" I scowled at her, but I wasn't given the opportunity to do anything else because Kyle stood up and bolted from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Stan stood up so quick that his chair fell backwards. He glanced at the doctor, and asked him to write everything important about Kyle's condition down, because he had to go find Kyle, and Kyle's Mum obviously wasn't up to hearing about the details at that point.

When the doctor nodded, Stan lost no time and tore off after Kyle.

The hospital was not a small place, but Stan did have some idea where to find Kyle. He had an obsession with going right (as opposed to left), and he knew if he just kept making right hand turns, he'd find him eventually.

It took a while, but Stan was proved right when he found Kyle half an hour later, curled up in an alcove in a deserted hallway. It didn't look like this part of the hospital was operational at the moment, but that was good – he didn't really want to be disturbed.

Slowly he walked up to Kyle, and crouched down next to him, placing his hand hesitantly on Kyle's shoulder, trying not to startle him.

"Are you alright Ky?" Stan asked quietly. Kyle looked up at him with a blank face, and Stan sighed.

He recognised the expression as the one Kyle got when he was in an apathetic phase. They weren't often and never lasted particularly long, but had occurred enough for Stan to understand what they were and how to deal with them.

The only thing that could get through to Kyle in that state was music, but Stan had none to hand. Mentally cursing himself for forgetting his mp3 player (he tried not to show agitation outwardly because it upset Kyle) he just sat next to him and hugged him tight. Physical touch, especially touch that was very affectionate, helped ground Kyle, and it was all Stan could do at that moment.

They sat there for about an hour; Stan lost in thought as he hugged Kyle and rocked him gently. For the first half hour Kyle didn't move an inch, but slowly he began to relax against his friend, until he was fully leant on him. Hesitantly Stan spoke up.

"Are you feeling better Ky?"

Kyle turned his face upwards to look at Stan from his position on Stan's shoulder and nodded slightly.

"Yes thanks. I think I...i think I zoned out for a bit"

Stan nodded

"Yeah you did, but only for a little bit" He reassured with a smile "Do you remember what happened before?"

Kyle closed his eyes for a moment, remembering.

"Yeah, the Doc told me that the tests had come back positive, and Mom freaked. I..i ran" His eyes flashed open again, before he looked down at the floor.

"Why did you run Ky?" Stan asked curiously, but he was careful not to push Kyle into answering if he didn't want to, that would just have made thinsg worse.

"If she freaked, who else will? Cartman will spread it everywhere and tell them that i'm just a weirdo, and though I don't really care what they think, well....." Kyle trailed off.

"Who are you worried about then Ky?" Stan inquired gently.

Kyle shook his head

"I don't want to talk about it at the minute. Can we go home? I promise i'll tell you later! Honest I will! I just don't want to talk about it right now, I..." Stan cut Kyle off, who had been getting increasingly agitated.

"That's fine Kyle" He murmured with a smile, before standing up and offering his hand to Kyle. "You don't have to ever tell me if you don't want to."

Kyle stood up and took Stan's hand, before gazing at him curiously, tipping his head to one side.

"I don't?"

Stan's smile grew sad, and he shook his head.

"Nope, you don't have to do anything"

Seeing his previously extroverted friend so..so...meek broke Stan's heart at times, but he swore he'd never allow Kyle to know this, and to support him no matter what.

Kyle grinned

"Okay! Can we go home then?"

"To your home or my home?" Stan questioned, not wanting to get it wrong and ruin Kyle's sudden good mood.

"Can we.... well can I stay at yours tonight? I don't really want to run into Mom again today" Stan nodded

"Of course you can. I just need to go back to the doctor to get a list he said he'd write for me, and then we'll go back to mine" Kyle's smile was blinding, and he began leading the way back to the Doctor's office.

When they got there, Stan knocked on the Doctor's office door and went in after he heard the invite from within. He led the way into the room and asked quietly for the list he'd mentioned before. The doctor smiled not unkindly, and stood up to hand the paper over with a business card.

"I think everything important is on there. If you come across a situation you find difficult, then please just contact me – that goes for you too Kyle" For the last few words, the doctor turned to speak to Kyle directly. Instantly Stan liked him, most especially for the way he didn't patronise Kyle.

"Of course doctor, thank you" The older man inclined his head in acknowledgment.

"Anytime"

The two youths walked out the hospital, only for one of them to stop abruptly just past the doors.

"Mom's…Mom's over there. Do you think…ermm…?" Kyle stuttered, anxiously biting his lip. Stan glanced sideways at him

"You wanna avoid your Mom?" Kyle nodded "Come on then, we can go around the back, it isn't a long walk". Stan took his friend by the hand and led him to the opposite side of the car park to where Kyle's mom was sat in the car with a deep-set frown on her face. Stan hadn't ever really thought that Sheila was particularly accepting, and it didn't look like this would be an exception. He shook his head angrily – how dare she do this to Kyle when he needed her so badly? It was cruel and, though it made him feel guilty for the unchristian feeling, he hated her for it. There were times when he hated living in such a small conservative town, and that was one of them.

"What's wrong Stan?" Kyle asked, the smile having returned to his face once his Mom had been left far behind. He swung their clasped hands happily, acting more like a small child than a grown teenager.

Stan smiled reassuringly

"It's nothing, I'm fine" He murmured warmly, hoping Kyle bought it. This time he was lucky, and Kyle just shrugged and carried on walking and chatting nonsensically.

There you go! Chapter 2! I'm sorry for the long wait, I got serious writer's block. Anyway, it's done now and dedicated to my wonderful uni friends who inspired me to write today, and the brilliant fanfic I've read today which spurred me on!

Wildeyedangel xxxxxx


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Wild Eyed Joker

Disclaimer: I don't own south park, or the characters from the show.

Rating: M

Pairing: Stan/Kyle

Summary: How did Kyle get so bad? The story of his downward spiral, and the prequel to 'It's Cartman's Fault'.

Guiding Kyle into his house, Stan locked the door firmly behind him to make sure that they wouldn't be disturbed.

"When are your Mom and Dad coming back?" Kyle asked, glancing around for the other occupants of the house – it was rare that none of them were home.

Stan shook his head.

"They're away for the week. Shelly's got herself in trouble, again, and they've gone to bail her out."

"What's she done this time?" Kyle smiled slightly, dumping his bag on the floor and walking over to the sofa.

"Dunno, they wouldn't tell me. Bet ya she's knocked up" Stan added with a smirk. He walked over, following Kyle to the sofa and sat down, pulling his friend down with him. "Would serve the slut damn right"

When there was no reply Stan glanced at Kyle who was rocking himself with his eyes shut and tapping his fingers erratically. Recognising the signs of an oncoming 'episode', he stayed quiet and moved along the sofa until he was right next to Kyle to make sure that he knew that Stan was there for him.

After a few minutes of quiet Stan's patience was rewarded.

"The Doctor was wrong" Kyle spoke softly.

"Why do you say that?" Stan replied carefully, trying not to antagonise Kyle. However it either didn't work or the episode was worse than normal, because Kyle simply seemed to snap at that moment. He jumped off the sofa and opened his eyes, which were glazed.

"I'm not ill!!!! I'm not!!!! There's nothing wrong with me!! They're the sick ones; they're the ones who are screwed up, not me!!!!" He screamed, his eyes glinting wildly. "They don't get it! They looked at me like I'm crazy, but I'm not!! They just don't understand!!!" By now he was visibly trembling. Deliberately, so as not to startle Kyle, Stan stood up too.

"I do. I understand Kyle" Kyle turned to him, his eyes re-focussing as he slowly nodded.

"Yes…yes you do…you understand…"

Kyle seemed to collapse in Stan's arms, emotionally exhausted. Stan led him back to the sofa and laid him down on it. He went to go get a pillow, but Kyle's hand on his wrist stopped him in his tracks.

"I'm just gonna go get you a pillow Dude" Kyle shook his head violently.

"No!! No!! You be my pillow!" With a small sigh, Stan agreed and gently lifted Kyle's head so he could slip onto the sofa underneath him, and then laid him back down on his lap, which Kyle snuggled up to.

"Ky…dude…why don't you want me to go anywhere?" Kyle turned his head so he could look Stan in the eyes.

"You're the only one who understands me…I don't want you to leave me alone." The slightly manic grin appeared "and I like you!" he added. Stan's eyes widened.

"You like me?" Kyle nodded, puzzled as to Stan's strange reaction.

"Of course. You're my best friend, what use would someone be who understood me but I hated? My best friend understands me, and I like that" Kyle's smile turned content and he burrowed his head further into Stan's lap, who choked in shock.

"Yes…yes I am your best friend…but would you please not do that in my lap Dude?" Again, Kyle looked confused.

"Why?" To Stan's horror, suddenly tears filled Kyle's eyes. "Do you not want me here?" He continued, his voice cracking as he moved to sit up. Stan swore under his breath at himself for forgetting to be very careful with what he said, and gently pushed Kyle back down.

"No, I promise I do want you here" Stan replied as reassuringly as he could. Affectionately he brushed a lock of strawberry-blond hair out of Kyle's eyes which calmed him straight away,

"Okay" Kyle nodded sleepily, once more cuddling down into Stan's lap who was trying to visualise Cartman in a bikini to stop his body's reaction, even though just the thought made him want to retch.

Shortly after Stan was granted a reprieve – the wriggling stopped as Kyle fell asleep. Stan smiled fondly at his friend, noticing how cute he was when asleep and began combing his fingers through Kyle's hair. The thought of finding his best friend cute would have scared Stan shitless not one year ago, but he'd since come to realise that over-analysing his feelings was pretty pointless. Stan loved his friend who was emotionally unstable and pretty much all alone since he'd fallen ill. Kyle needed the affection, and Stan didn't mind giving it to him, in fact, if he was honest with himself, he enjoyed someone needing him so much. By now he didn't think too much about it – things simply were as they were, and what would be, would be.

Soon enough Stan dozed off too. When he woke up Kyle was gone from the sofa. Instantly he sprang fully awake, glancing around hurriedly for his friend.

"Kyle? Dude? Where are you?"

"In the kitchen" was the reply, which Stan followed. True to his word, Kyle was sat in the kitchen, nursing a can of coke.

"I've missed this" Kyle murmured once Stan had entered the room.

"Missed what?" Stan grinned "my kitchen?" Kyle shook his head

"Nah, coke. Well, sugar at all actually. Mom banned it from the house, she thought it was the sugar which was making me 'strange'." He spat the word out angrily. "But I'm not strange!" Kyle looked up at Stan pleadingly, and his friend dutifully shook his head.

"No, I don't think you're strange" Stan paused a moment, unsure of how to word his next question. "Do you want me to go get your tablets?"

Kyle's head shot up and he eyed Stan suspiciously

"What tablets?"

"The ones the Doctor gave…." Stan trailed off as Kyle had been violently shaking his head from the word 'doctor'.

"No!! No!! Why would I want them?" His anger switched in an instant to despair. "I'm not ill! I'm really fine! I promise!! I'll be a good boy! The tablets will make me ill and I'll hurt and they scare me! Stan, please, don't make me take them, please!!!" Kyle stood up and knelt next to Stan "I'll do anything! I'll be a good, good boy! Please!!" As Kyle gazed up at him pleadingly, and Stan saw the tears running down his face and the genuine fear in his eyes, his heart broke. Kyle needed the tablets to get better, but if Stan forced them on him, Kyle wouldn't trust him anymore and Kyle would be left all alone. That would devastate his friend, pills or no, and Stan could not allow that to happen. Besides, Kyle wasn't so bad really. He could still function by himself, and being childlike and emotionally dependant was hardly a crime!

Stan sat on the floor next to Kyle and pulled him into his lap so he could rock him soothingly.

"Alright Kyle, no tablets. I won't make you take anything you don't want to. I promise." Kyle just looked up at him gratefully, before leaning his head on Stan's shoulder as his friend continued to rock him.

Okay, again sorry for the long wait. I know it's frustrating, but if I could do this any quicker, I really would! RL just seems to get in the way all the time.

Also I know this illness isn't like schizophrenia. It's kind of an amalgamation of several mental illness designed to fit what I want in the story.

I hope you like it!


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